In the beginning, Men In Black began as a fantastic sci-fi comedy movie based on an obscure comic that made Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones an iconic duo who had a lot of great Men In Black quotes. Smith and Jones starred as a pair of agents in the titular secret organization who helped to keep the extraterrestrial population in check on Earth and helped to protect the planet from outside threats. The duo appeared in three movies, each one expanding the lore and introducing more alien species to the movies.
Today, the MIB franchise spans four films, including one with Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson (and a Universal Studios theme park ride), and with that comes something far better than a ton of merchandise: amazing quotes. Quotes are what make a movie go round and Men In Black has plenty of memorable quotes that fans cite on a daily basis. Of course, most of the quotes come from the first movie, but the sequels and spinoff have made for some delightful lines that have entertained generations of fans for years.
25 “You’re Everything We’ve Come To Expect From Years Of Government Training.”
Agent Kay, Men In Black
In the first Men in Black movie, Jay had to pass some big tests to determine if he was fit for the role of a Men in Black member. When he entered the room to start the testing, he found his competition was a group of the best of the best from the United States military units. These men were all serious and looked down on Jay the entire time. He did everything to take the tests in his own way; while everyone else struggled, they still acted superior to him. In the end, Jay was the one accepted.
“Gentlemen, Congratulations. You’re Everything We’ve Come To Expect From Years Of Government Training. Now Please Step This Way, As We Provide You With Our Final Test: An Eye Exam…”
The full quote came when Agent Kay let all the prospects know that they were pretty much worthless since they had years of government training but were incapable of figuring out how to do anything outside the norm. It then ended with the “eye exam” wiping all their memories. It was a hilarious and deadpan response by Kay, showing he could insult every soldier in the room and do it in a way where not a single one of them knew he was insulting them.
24 “We Are A Rumor. Recognizable Only As Déjà Vu. And Dismissed Just As Quickly.”
Agent O, Men In Black International
When the franchise returned with Men in Black International, new agents were introduced to carry on the franchise. The main new agents were Agent H (Chris Hemsworth) and Agent M (Tessa Thompson). The new head agent was Emma Thompson’s Agent O, who was the head of the MIB US branch out of New York. When she was speaking to Agent M, it was very similar to the original movies with Agent Jay and Zed.
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In this quote, Agent O pretty much said what most viewers already knew, and it was a great way to let Molly know what was going on with the organization. Since everyone who comes across the Men in Black gets their minds wiped of the experience, that explains the déjà vu described here and the fact that they quickly dismiss what they knew. It was a perfect way to not only break in the new agent but to let new viewers unfamiliar with the franchise understand the dynamics.
23 “Bunch Of Monsters This Time Of Night With Quantum Physics Books, She Bout To Start Some Shit Zed.”
Agent Jay, Men In Black
When Agent Jay was trying out for the Men in Black, he was competing with the better-trained and more competent military personnel. However, this organization didn’t want soldiers who only knew how to follow orders and not think about what they were doing. Jay proved this when he forced a rearranging of the room to make his paperwork easier to fill out while the soldiers made due and struggled mightily. However, he really showed that he was the best fit for the gun range test.
Here, the people applying had to prove they could make the smartest decisions possible when deciding who to shoot and who not to shoot in the range. The other soldiers opened fire on the aliens they saw. Jay waited and ignored most of the aliens and then shot a little girl in the head. When Zed asked why he shot the girl, Jay pointed out why she was the most suspicious of all the characters in the range and why she was most dangerous. He was absolutely right, and it got him the job.
22 “We At The FBI Do Not Have A Sense Of Humor We Are Aware Of.”
Agent Kay, Men In Black
In the first Men in Black movie, Jay and Kay were investigating a problem involving Edgar, a man who was killed and eaten by a giant insect alien. They went to a house and began to ask a witness some questions. When the woman they approach asks if they are there to make fun of her like everyone else has, Agent Kay is blunt (and somewhat kind) when he explains that the FBI has no sense of humor that they are aware of. It is funny since he is making fun of the FBI, but also mostly true in this case.
Will Smith’s laid-back, cool, and easy quips help Jones’ dry humor playing the straight man shine.
This is also something that carries well throughout the entire Men in Black franchise, as Tommy Lee Jones plays Agent Kay with this dry sense of humor throughout all his appearances. Will Smith’s laid-back, cool, and easy quips help Jones’ dry humor playing the straight man shine, but with a sly wink every step of the way. Jones is just as funny as Smith, and it is small lines like this that prove that he is just as important to the film’s success as a comedy as Smith.
21 “And Now You’re Back From Outer Space, / I Just Walked In To Find You Here With That Sad Look Upon Your Face.”
Frank The Pug, Mein In Black II
In the first movie, one of the most shocking moments is when Agent Jay sees a pug dog and doesn’t think much of it until it starts talking to him, and he realizes the pug is an alien. It also turned out that Agent Kay had worked with Frank the Pug before, and Jay had to do the same in Men in Black II. In a funny twist, Jay sees what Kay was going through when he was being trained because here, Will Smith has to play the straight man to Frank’s annoying banter.
“And now you’re back from outer space, / I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face, / I should’ve changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key, / If I’d have known for just one second you’d be back to bother me. / Go on, now go! Walk out the door…”
In this scene, it is even funnier since Frank the Pug decides he will start singing while riding in the car with Agent Jay. Like all dogs, he has his head sticking out the window of the car, and then he starts singing. The song is set to the beat of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive,” but Frank changes all the lyrics to fit the story in the movie with the aliens, and it ends up as one of the film’s most memorable moments. The fact it gets under Agent Jay’s skin makes it even better.
20 “Did You Ever Flashy Thing Me?”
Agent Jay, Men In Black
The Men In Black‘s neuralyzer is an integral part of the franchise, the item that allows the MIB to continue operating in secret. It’s what erases memories and allows the agents to provide the people they encounter with cover stories. After becoming an agent, Jay is on a case with Kay and witnesses him use the neuralzer for the first time. After being shocked and somewhat disturbed by such a gadget, Jay begins to wonder if he’d ever had his memory wiped.
In the first movie, the audience knows that Jay has had his memory erased once – right before he’s recruited to become an agent. As the franchise continues, however, it becomes clear that Jay has had his memory affected in the past, long before the events of the first movie as well. The line is used for comedic effect, but it’s one that becomes prophetic.
19 “My Whole Life Everyone’s Called Me Crazy. They Said That I Needed Therapy. Which, Okay, Admittedly, I Did – But Not For This.”
Agent M, MIB: International
Before Molly’s civilian identity is completely erased Men In Black: International, she stops at nothing to find the agency and proof that aliens exist. It’s not that Molly wants to expose the secret agents to the world either. She just wants to know that the events she witnessed as a child were real. Molly doesn’t need any outward validation, but she’s tired of hearing that she’s crazy from others.
Even when she introduces herself to agents and explains her history, she isn’t welcomed into the Men In Black organization right away. She still has to prove herself. While Men in Black: International is often considered the worst Men in Black movie, it is not all bad and this approach with the character of Molly is one of the most interesting aspects that the reboot should have explored more.
18 “… You’re Above The System. Over It. Beyond It. We’re ‘Them.’ We’re ‘They.’ We Are The Men In Black.”
Agent Zed, Men In Black
When Agent Jay is first brought into the Men In Black, he has to learn just what the organization does. What he is told fairly quickly into his time with the agency is that the Men In Black are the people behind many of the conspiracies and the conspiracy theories that exist. Though Agent Kay is Agent Jay’s partner, Agent Zed is their boss. He’s in charge of their office, and he’s the one responsible for really introducing Jay to the ways of the MIB before he goes out into the field with Kay.
Zed’s memorable speech to Jay explaining just who the Men in Black are is a terrific way of introducing the audience and Jay into this world. It is fittingly cryptic and vague, with the MIB taking pride in its anonymous existence in the world and how it allows it to set up a place beyond the rest of society.
You’re a rumor, recognizable only as deja vu and dismissed just as quickly. You don’t exist; you were never even born. Anonymity is your name. Silence your native tongue. You’re no longer part of the System. You’re above the System. Over it. Beyond it. We’re ‘them.’ We’re ‘they.’ We are the Men in Black.
17 “Oh, The Red Button There Kid. Don’t Ever, Ever Touch The Red Button.”
Agent Kay, Men In Black
It’s always fun to see lines or bits established early on in a series come back in some way. So when Kay is showing Jay the ropes and speeding across New York, he tells Jay to never, ever touch the red button in the car. It continues to show that the world of the MIB is filled with danger and weirdness hiding in plain sight without any real explanation for it. Of course, that only piques the audience’s interest as to what the red button does.
It also sets up the red button as something that is far too dangerous to ever use only for Jay and Kay to find themselves in a situation dire enough that Kay decides it is indeed time to push it. The car becomes a high-speed machine moving at light speed for the viewer’s enjoyment. The idea returns in later movies and is the secret to getting a high score on the theme park ride.
16 “The Truth Of The Universe, I Want To Know Everything. I Want To Know How It All Works.”
Agent M, MIB: International
As Molly lobbies to become Agent M, she stresses that she’s not out to expose the organization. The higher-ranking agents want to know what exactly Molly’s endgame is now that she found the group. Molly wants nothing short of “the truth of the universe.” In a nice callback to the first movie, this is what Agent Kay promises Agent Jay when he becomes an agent.
In the world of the MIB movies, there is so much that the public doesn’t know. The origin of different inventions, the secret identities of different celebrities, and the near cataclysmic ending of the world are all things that the public doesn’t know, creating a very different picture of the universe for someone as curious as Molly. It is an exciting prospect to have all of those secrets revealed, but also a daunting one.
15 “Jeff, I Am So Not In The Mood! Get Back In The Subway!”
Agent Jay, Men In Black II
Men in Black II throws audiences right back into this world with the movie opening with a sequence involving Jay on a new mission. It also introduces a memorable Men in Black monster in the form of Jeff, a giant worm living in the subway system of New York City. Not only does the sequence show Jay taking on the intimidating creature, but it also suggests that this is not the first time the two have had a run-in.
Jay’s demand to the massive alien “Get back in the subway!” comes across like a parent scolding a child rather than a secret agent shouting at an extraterrestrial. This is the audience’s first look at how Jay has been operating as an MIB agent without Kay as his mentor. While he is an effective agent, he also hasn’t adopted Kay’s stoic approach to the job and still has a lot of that chaotic approach.
14 “Always Remember: The Universe Has A Way Of Leading You To Where You’re Supposed To Be, At The Moment You’re Supposed To Be There.”
Agent High T, MIB: International
Though it’s eventually revealed that High T isn’t the person the main characters think he is in MIB: International, he still has some great quotes in the Men In Black franchise. This one, in particular, speaks to the idea of fate in the Men In Black universe. It’s an idea that’s played with in earlier movies as Agent Jay goes back in time to Agent Kay’s past to get his help.
Here, however, it speaks to Molly’s childhood leading her to become Agent M and her work with Agent H. It also speaks to Agent H being meant for a role within the agency because of how much he cares, despite acting like he doesn’t. It is unclear if there will ever be a Men in Black 5, but if there is, this is a key theme to continue on into the franchise and makes for some of the most memorable moments.
13 “Is There Anyone Here Who’s Not An Alien?”
Agent Jay, Men In Black 3
For a world where anyone can be an alien, it’s easy to think that there’s an otherworldly being hiding around every corner. Anything in MIB could be an alien: another human, a flower, even a dog. In Men In Black 3, this was hit on the most when Jay and a younger Kay go to see Andy Warhol, one of their agents, about a disturbance. Arriving at a party for these modern artist types where everyone is dressed in bizarre clothing, Jay asks this question, driving the point home.
It is a funny line to highlight the fish-out-of-water humor of the third movie with Jay attempting to make sense of being in the 1960s. To him, the people of the 60s feel like the kind of people who are aliens and are not doing a very good job of hiding that fact from the world.
12 “You Coming? World’s Not Going To Save Itself.”
Agent H, MIB: International
When the events of MIB: International begin, it seems that Agent H is little more than a pompous glory-seeker. He’s someone who takes the credit when things go well and pretends that they go well even if they don’t. It’s enough to make the audience curious as to why he works for a secret organization that forces him to keep his identity a secret from everyone if he wants to be the hero.
As the truth behind Agent H’s time with the agency is gradually unraveled, however, it’s evident that he cares more about others than he does himself, and that he’ll do anything he has to in order to save the planet. He and Agent M have that in common, and Agent M is exactly who he directs this Men In Black quote to, urging her to come on the mission with him, though the two don’t often get along.
11 “Let’s Agree To Disagree.”
Boris the Animal, Men In Black 3
MIB has had some pretty intriguing foes over the years and one of the more interesting is Boris The Animal, an alien villain played brilliantly by Jemaine Clement who has a history with Kay. This launches into the movie’s main plot of Boris going back in time to hunt down a hunger Kay and kill him in a time-jumping act of revenge. Boris is even a memorable enough villain to get his own catchphrase by constantly telling Kay, “Let’s agree to disagree.”
Clement, best known for his comedic work in Flight of the Conchords and What We Do in the Shadows, brings some of his comedic energy to the role while also making Boris an appropriately menacing character which comes across in his delivery on this repeated line. Even better, the line is used against Boris by Jay right before he knocks the alien into the path of a launching spaceship.
10 “…To The Extent That All Women Are, Yes. But No, I’m Not A Queen.”
Agent M, MIB: International
One of the characters that provides a lot of comic relief in MIB: International is Pawny, played by Kumail Nanjiani. The small alien is a member of a species that serves a queen, and when the queen dies, they typically end their own lives as well. Pawny, however, ends up pledging himself to Agent M after his queen dies. She tries to keep him alive and Agent H manages to convince Pawny that Agent M is a queen.
Agent M tries to refute the claim, but she also is of the opinion that all women are queens. It’s one of the many lines that try to give a stronger presence to women in a male-dominated franchise. While some audience members might have found it heavy-handed, it’s a sweet moment between Agent M and Pawny that eventually leads to them being firm allies.
9 “Y’know, I’ve Noticed An Infestation Here.”
The Bug, Men In Black
There is a common consensus that the Men in Black franchise never surpassed the original movie. Certainly, one aspect that has never been improved upon is the original movie’s villain, Edgar/The Bug, who still stands as the best in the franchise. Portrayed by Vincent Donofrio, the Bug has some pretty interesting lines that he manages to grunt out, like the infestation. Confronted by an exterminator, the Bug states that he has noticed an infestation, and just not of cockroaches.
Instead, the Bug details his hatred for humans and his perception of them as lesser lifeforms. He highlights this fact as he mercilessly kills the exterminator. It is a terrific villain monologue that shows the unique quality of this character. His aim in the movie is not to exterminate the human race, but like how humans look at bugs, he truly doesn’t care how many he has to step on to get what he wants.
8 “Keep In Mind, Just Because You See A Black Man Driving A Car, Does Not Mean He Stole It!
Agent Jay, Men In Black 3
Men In Black 3 takes the movie franchise to the past. In this movie installment, Agent Jay ends up traveling to the past to find out information from Agent Kay very early in his old partner’s career. Unfortunately, that means that Agent Jay is a Black man from the modern era traveling to the South in the 1960s. This provides a lot of Will Smith’s best comedic moments in the movie.
Luckily for Agent Jay, he’s incredibly intelligent and armed with some of the gadgets issued to him as an MIB agent. He’s able to use his neuralyzer on the police officers who pull him over while he’s trying to get to Kay in 1969. He tries to use the memory wipe to help provide a little progress, giving the movie a little more social commentary than it might normally have.
7 “There Are Things Out There You Don’t Need To Know About.”
Agent Kay, Men In Black
The whole point of Men In Black is that there’s more to the world than one is willing to admit. The universe has still yet to be fully explored and that’s something MIB takes advantage of in every single film, whether it be with its ending or its aliens. However, even with the Men in Black getting a glimpse at the world beyond what the rest of society knows, Jay learns that there are even more secrets to the universe being hidden from him.
“There are things out there you don’t need to know about” is one of the scariest lines of the movie. Given everything Jay has seen there is the question of what else is out there in the big wide galaxy that he doesn’t need to see. The line is only built upon in each movie as more about the universe is slowly revealed, but there’s still so much more lore to explore.
6 “Don’t Ask Questions You Don’t Want The Answers To.”
Agent Kay, Men In Black 3
The Men In Black is an agency of secrets. They regularly lie to the public, and as is eventually revealed in the movies, also each other. They are aided in these lies with neuralyzers and confidential and redacted files. That means when Agent Jay heads out on an investigation that includes information he isn’t privy to, things get very complicated for him.
Agent Jay is repeatedly told by his older and more experienced partner Kay not to ask questions that he doesn’t want the answers to. This Men In Black quote from Kay actually echoes his point in the first movie. That’s a common idea when conspiracies are in play in a movie, or in the case of MIB 3, when different timelines are in play. However, it also brings an interesting dynamic between the two characters with Kay protecting Jay from some truth.
