Outer Banks: 15 Funniest Quotes

Though Netflix’s Outer Banks is a treasure-hunting thriller and mystery, it’s also a pretty funny series. The main characters begin the show as sixteen-year-olds who love their fair share of one-liners. They’re constantly making fun of each other and getting into the weirdest situations. The script is true to the way teens converse, and with characters as egotistical as the Pogues can be, they’re bound to deliver some memorable lines.

Outer Banks has been planned to have five seasons, and as of November 2024, Netflix has announced that the fifth season will be the show’s last. Though the Pogues have searched for numerous different treasures, been to a few different counties, and been in danger countless times, they’ve always had time for a well-placed quip, sarcastic remark, or cutting reply. It’s those funny quotes that help to break up the tension and the drama of the adventures in the series.

“Don’t Worry, I’ll Sugar Mama You.”

Sarah In Season 1, Episode 4 “Spy Games”

Sarah and John B don’t initially get along, though there’s definitely a spark. Once they spend the day together in season 1, it’s clear they have a lot to learn about one another, and there’s more to their chemistry than meets the eye.

Pogue meets Kook fashion when John B and Sarah venture out to Chapel Hill to find Denmark Tanney’s possessions at the state archives. Before they can enter the building, they need to class up their outfits if they want to fit in. Sarah takes John B shopping, and he quickly realizes just how expensive the disguises will be. “Oh my God. Have you seen this shirt? It’s $190,” John B says in disbelief. “Don’t worry,” Sarah replies, “I’ll sugar mama you.“

While plenty of their flirting has been subtle up until that point, it’s clear that there’s a connection between John B and Sarah then. Madelyn Cline delivers the line perfectly, with Sarah catching John B off guard. It really starts their entire flirtation as Vlad and Val, leading to them falling hard for one another.

“There Was A Hurricane, Sweetheart.”

Ward In Season 1, Episode 1 “Pilot”

Ward’s response about the hurricane is delivered matter-of-factly, but it’s not out of nowhere. This exchange between Wheezie Cameron and her father, Ward, perfectly sums up today’s dependence on the internet. The morning after a devastating hurricane hits the town, the Camerons assess the damage at their mansion in Figure Eight. Wheezie, 13, steps outside to inform her father, “The WiFi’s not working. I can’t post anything.“

Ward, a bit preoccupied with the power lines down by his home, gently replies, “There was a hurricane, sweetheart.” The Cameron family, who never seems to want for anything, would be used to living a life of privilege, especially Wheezie. The youngest child of the Cameron family, the most hardship she encounters is competing for attention with her big sister before the events of the series really kick off.

“He’s Straight Up Like The Spanish. Just, Bon Voyage.”

JJ In Season 2, Episode 8 “The Cross”

In season 2, Luke Maybank gets himself into trouble with the law. The Maybanks are no strangers to ending up in jail, as is repeatedly pointed out to JJ throughout the first three seasons of the show. This time, however, he decides to run, and JJ helps him leave town.

When JJ gives a heartfelt speech to the other Pogues about not having anyone else he can count on, he also tells them that the abusive man who raised him just left him too. While it’s an emotional speech from JJ about the Pogues being everything he has, the mood is somewhat lightened by this line.

While it’s clear the Pogues appreciate his sentiment and feel the same way, they cannot resist teasing him for mixing up his Spanish and his French in his explanation. The momentary reprieve is par for the course in the show, which is full of dramatic moments and characters being in danger, but also, moments that can make the audience laugh out loud.

“That’s JJ. Mild Kleptomaniac And A Future Tax Cheat.”

John B In Season 1, Episode 1 “Pilot”

At the beginning of the series, John B has a few hilarious words to describe his friends. JJ, the lovable delinquent of the bunch, is said to be a “mild kleptomaniac” and a “future tax cheat.” The audience can’t really speak for the tax cheating part, but JJ does carefully swipe quite a few items throughout the series, including his father’s boat keys, sailing supplies from his father’s former employer, and money from multiple people. Given the Pogues’ treasure hunt, his skill is actually pretty useful.

In fact, when Cleo wants to know what JJ brings to the group after meeting JJ, he doesn’t tell her right away. It’s not until she finds out that he is pretty good at snatching people’s wallets that he tells her that his “job” in the group is stealing.

“Denial’s Underrated. You Should Try It Sometime.”

John B In Season 1, Episode 2 “The Lucky Compass”

John B’s inner monologues are often filled with wit and a little sarcasm. At the start of Episode 2, he explains that his peers have been trying to convince him of his father’s death for nine months. Still, he doesn’t believe it and is hell-bent on proving that his father is alive and missing. “They say I’m in denial,” he says. “Whatever.“

According to John B, denial can be useful. “Denial’s underrated. You should try it sometime. It’s highly effective, and it’s only denial if you’re wrong,” he adds. He makes a fair point. And at least he’s sticking to his beliefs.

His denial of bad events actually serves him well throughout the series. He is able to reunite with his father before his father’s death. His denial often keeps him alive as well as he looks for the best outcome in horrible situations and clings to them even when they’re unlikely. The line might have initially been played for a laugh, but it remains consistent for his character throughout the show.

“I’ll Be So Safe.”

JJ And Pope In Season 1

The idea of being safe gets thrown around a lot during the first season by JJ and Pope as a joke. It first crops up when Kie tells John B to be safe while he’s heading up to Scooter’s motel room. Initially, JJ persists in encouraging John B to make a move on Kiara, who he’s convinced likes John B. When they’re out of earshot, JJ starts massaging John B’s shoulders and mocking Kiara. “Just be so careful, John B. Oh, just give me that John D, already!” John B rolls his eyes and pokes fun at JJ’s obsession with girls.

The idea, however, returns later in the season as well. When the Pogues plus Sarah venture to Parcel 9, which also happens to be the home of an elderly ax murderer, the girls decide to approach the house alone so they can switch off the motion sensor lights. John B tells them to be safe. Pope and JJ wait until they’re out of earshot before turning towards one another.

JJ takes Pope’s face in his hands and with an adoring look says, “Be safe.” Pope returns the look and replies, “I’ll be so safe … for you.” John B threatens to kill them both. Pope asks, “But how would that keep us safe?” The recurring bit is a way to break up the tension when the group is in dangerous situations.

“So, I Busted The Wrong Guy Out Of Jail, Sue Me.”

JJ In Season 2, Episode 5 “The Darkest Hour”

Though there are plenty of darker moments in JJ’s storylines, he’s also often the comic relief in the first two seasons of the show. Many of the funniest lines come from his reactions to his own mistakes as the rest of his friends blame him. That’s exactly the case in this season 2 quote.

JJ comes up with a plan to break John B out of police custody to make sure he doesn’t end up in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. It involves getting John B out using an ambulance, and he is so sure that his plan will work that for a moment, the audience might even be on his side, despite how wild the idea is.

Unfortunately, as is the case for most of JJ’s plans, things fall apart before they can get off the ground. JJ accidentally ends up with a different inmate in the ambulance, breaking the wrong person out of jail, and having to appeal to Pope and Kiara to help get him out of trouble himself. They do help him, but with plenty of annoyance, prompting this quote from JJ.

“I Was On The Math Team!”

Pope In Season 1, Episode 1 “Pilot”

When John B and JJ break into Scooter’s motel room in the pilot episode, they don’t yet know that this room belongs to a dead man. They only know the room key came out of a very expensive sunken boat. The police come to investigate while the boys are inside. Luckily, Pope and Kiara are on the lookout for their friends. Not to lucky is their skills when it comes to actually warning John B and JJ about the law enforcement on their way up to the room.

They rush to the side of the building to warn the boys. Pope tries tossing stones at the window, but they don’t even come close to hitting the wall. Kiara stares at him. “Didn’t you ever play baseball?” she asks, horrified. “I was on the math team!” he hisses. It’s a hilarious way to show the audience that John B is going to continually refer to Pope as the brains of the group, not the one with the most physical skills.

“Pentagon … We Have Security Clearance.”

JJ In Season 1, Episode 1 “Pilot”

The day after the hurricane, John B and JJ embark on a fishing trip. But they can’t go without their fellow Pogues. They swing by Pope at work after JJ notices Miss Amy “totally” looking at him. John B confirms that he saw it. The boys imitate holding walkie-talkies and call Pope for a “safety meeting – attendance mandatory”, but Pope’s dad won’t let him go. JJ counters by saying the day after a hurricane is a free day, and when that doesn’t work, he says it’s by order of the Pentagon.

Heyward is not impressed with JJ’s antics, but unlike most of the other parental figures seen in the show, he is there for Pope when he needs them. So the argument really consists of a lot of back-and-forth with the Pogues on the boat and Heyward on the dock in front of their property. Pope eventually makes a run for it and jumps into the boat, and the scene is worth an early laugh before the Pogues land themselves in all the drama.

“Stop Barking At The Snakes!”

John B In Season 1, Episode 2 “The Lucky Compass”

The Pogues are trying to break into the graveyard where John B’s great-great-grandmother, Olivia Redfield, is buried. Just when they’re about to bust through the tomb, a large moccasin slithers out, startling them all – except JJ. JJ starts barking at it. “They’re afraid of dogs, everybody knows that.” The others tell him to shut up before someone sees them, but JJ starts barking into the tomb, too.

It’s a ridiculous idea that snakes, which have been known to bite dogs, are going to be afraid of a little barking. If anything, the barking would likely startle them more and make them more likely to lash out. JJ, being JJ, doesn’t really take kindly to be told what to do though, even by his closest friends, so, he keeps barking. It’s a great way to show how hilariously out of depth the group of teenagers is when they first begin their hunt for treasure. Even as they gain more experience over the next few seasons, they still have moments like this one.

“Um, Can I Be Excused To Help Them In The Bathroom?”

Pope In Season 2, Episode 1 “The Gold”

Out of context, this particular line from Pope might not seem like the funniest of the bunch. Within the context of the second season of Outer Banks though, it’s delivered perfectly by Jonathan Daviss, and sure to make the audience chuckle.

It comes at a time when JJ, Kiara, and Pope have been mourning the loss of John B and Sarah. They believe their friends died at sea in a storm, not knowing that they lived to make it to the Bahamas. When one of them receives a text message from an unknown number, they learn that Sarah and John B are still alive – in the middle of school, no less.

It’s enough to have JJ and Kiara simply bolt from the room, supposedly to go to the bathroom, so they can deal with the information they’ve just been given and try to talk more with Sarah. Pope, who has always been the one least likely to act out, and the one most likely to value his time spent in a classroom, awkwardly raises his hand and asks to leave instead. It’s a great character moment for him because it definitely shows that there’s a small divide between Pope and his more impulsive friends.

“It’s A Little Tootsie Roll!”

JJ In Season 1, Episode 3 “The Forbidden Zone

After security guards find the Pogues in the graveyard, they make a run for it. Everyone deftly climbs the fence until Pope gets stuck. His shorts are caught at the top. Kiara runs back to pull him down, but he panics and keeps repeating, “You’re gonna rip it, you’re gonna rip it,” because he doesn’t want to lose any of his clothing in the chase.

The guards are fast approaching when Kiara finally gets him down, leaving his shorts hanging off the fence in tatters. They bolt for the van, Pope crouching and covering himself while the others tease him. It’s JJ who gets the line, “Nice, dude … It’s a little Tootsie Roll,” while the others both laugh at JJ’s antics and admonish him to leave Pope alone.

Because Pope is so serious and JJ is someone ready to jump at any moment, the two frequently butt heads in the show. Even as JJ makes fun of Pope though, he would never have left him behind.

“Did You Just Yeet Over That Chain?”

Sarah In Season 1, Episode 4 “Spy Games”

“Spy Games” is a great episode for lines from Sarah Cameron. After that, her life becomes a bit more drama-filled as she loses trust in her father, her brother tries to kill her, and her ex-boyfriend becomes a bit murderous toward her friends. Sarah doesn’t get many chances after the first season for funny quips or lighter lines as she is living a traumatized existence and just trying to make it through.

Here, John B is on the run from the cops, as usual, this time on a stolen bike. He’s on the run because it’s been discovered that he’s a minor living without a guardian. He speeds up a ramp and over a fence where a group of kids watches with awe. “Stay in school!” he calls over his shoulder, only to find another kid in front of him. He swerves and spots a chain barring his access to the main roads. He brakes and flies over the chain, landing painfully on his side.

Sarah Cameron happens to be leaving a nearby store and rushes over to help. “Dude! Did you just yeet over that chain?” she says, before helping him to his feet. Her surprising use of the word “yeet” offline is what kicks off their day together as she decides to help him.

“Well, Well, Well.”

Pope In Season 1, Episode 5 “Parcel 9”

With so many absent parental figures – or just plan bad ones – in Outer Banks, there aren’t a lot of instances of silly puns or dad jokes. Instead of those lines falling to a adult character in the show, Pope is the master of dad jokes and inappropriately timed humor. For instance, when the Pogues discover the well under an ax murderer’s house, he comes out with, “Well, well, well.”

With utmost seriousness, John B comments, “That was a good dad joke.” Meanwhile, a serial killer is asleep only two floors above, while $400 million worth of gold is hidden below. It’s a jarring moment in an otherwise tense sequence and the perfect example of how Outer Banks diffuses tension in a scene. The show has become a master at doing that over the years, but this might be the best use of a dad joke in television in recent years.

“Are We Really Going To Worry About The Details Right Now?”

JJ In Season 4, Episode 2 “Blackbeard”

If the audience had to pick the most impulsive member of the Pogues, it would, without a doubt, be JJ. JJ is not known for his patience or his listening skills. He wants to jump into action every time the possibility of action exists. That includes when the action is incredibly dangerous.

In the fourth season, JJ gambles away the last of the Pogues’ gold right before they have to pay their property taxes for the Maybank land and their business. The group decides to hear out the proposition of payment for finding a necklace that belonged to the wife of the notorious pirate Blackbeard. While JJ is immediately game for whatever the danger is because he knows they need a quick payday, his friends want details.

Cleo, in particular, wants to know how feasible diving into a wreck in water protected by the Coast Guard really is. When JJ voices this question as the group begins discussing their options, everyone offers him a unanimous “yes,” that they do need to worry about the details. JJ might not ever want to worry about the details, but the details are what can get them in trouble, and the rest of the group has learned from their past experiences. It’s a fun moment in the middle of a tense situation for Outer Banks.